Black Friday Prep

You people need to start planning right now.

Black Friday is only a couple days away. You need to get your collective feces together so you can overcome the Bronconomy. In this effort, we align our energies with the formidable Dave Barry.

Apparently, you CCL’s now have a doll an “action figure”.

We all know that the one thing CCL’s and normal people can agree on is that bird people are weird.

Face. Slimmer. Mouthpiece.

There are more. Better plan ahead so you won’t miss out.

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61 thoughts on “Black Friday Prep

  1. I’m not stupid enough to venture out amongst the in-DUH-viduals (think Dilbert) on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I’ve not been to a mall in over 20 years and now do most of my shopping on-line.

  2. Love me some Dave Barry

    Also it goes without saying that everybody on your gift list needs a larger TV set. Thanks to technology, we are now blessed with an abundance of televisions with screens so vast that you cannot watch them comfortably unless you are sitting in an entirely different house. You need to buy bulk quantities of these televisions this holiday season, or any hopes for the recovery of the American retail economy will be squashed flatter than a frog under a steamroller and it will be YOUR FAULT.

    Soo true! 😀

  3. Dang, everyone must have pulled up the quilts, rolled over and went back to sleep. I’m finishing off my third cup of coffee. 😉

  4. Cheery good morning Hamsters. Clear sky and gorgeous crescent Moon, stars sprinkled throughout at 6, and best of all no rain. Crisp and 35 at 7, windy still. A gorgeous Sunrise is in progress–nice to see it again.

    The mares can go out this morning and stretch their legs after two days in the barn.
    The people can go about holiday preparations/travel in much better spirits–at least around here. Woodsy critters have sampled all the surviving pumpkins that decorate outside places around the house. They began the feast early.

    Long live Dave Barry.

  5. 3 Super Dave says:
    November 27, 2013 at 5:07 am
    I’m not stupid enough to venture out amongst the in-DUH-viduals (think Dilbert) on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I’ve not been to a mall in over 20 years and now do most of my shopping on-line.

    I was in a Macy’s for the first time in my life the other day. I shan’t be returning of my own volition. I went there with S.O. who apparently enjoys going to Macy’s to buy things so that she can go back a week or two later to return them.

    I’ve been to two malls this calendar year, one of them twice, all at the behest of my beloved. Several other times I have hovered on the edges of First Colony Mall enjoying a bounteous repast at Cheesecake Factory, and cursing the traffic and parking it takes to do that. And I have once gone to La Sentera with her to “shop”. La Sentera is apparently not a mall because there’s no roof over the street so that it adds the delight of vehicles moving back and forth between the stores as hundreds of people move about trying to occupy the same space as the vehicles and each other at the same time. It’s kind of like NYC without Macy’s which, ironically, is in a mall here in Texas.

    Texpat takes great pride in the fact that he moved to Jersey for the love of his bride. I wonder if he goes to malls with her—that would be the REAL proof. It could just be that he likes voting for fat lawyers who insult our intelligence by claiming to be a Proven Conservative Leader.

  6. Scientific Breakthrough Allows Male Insemination For The First Time In Human History

    Adora Bull is an American semi-amateur journalist, alternative model and national spokeswoman for Goths For Christ. She graduated top of her class from Bronx Haven High School in New York City, voted most likely to “make a difference”. She currently operates out of New York, New York with her heterosexual life partner, Janet, and cat Vincent Van Furrball. Like Adora Bull’s Facebook page or email her at: adora.bull@modernwomandigest.com

    …and one of my favorites from Mr/Ms Bull (?)

    Alright moms, listen up. There’s a pandemic going around right now, that no one seems to want to touch with a ten foot pole, in fear of being “un-politically correct.” But I’m here to say what no one else wants to, because as a journalist, that’s my job. It’s also my duty, as a proud American woman, who wants only the best for our nations future. It’s high time we call out video games for what they really are – packaged weapons aimed at our children by the Gay community to turn our children into homosexuals.

    Honestly, how many clues do you need ?

    If one must label their work as satire, then it no longer lives up to the definition.

    My favorite comment:

    So let me get this straight, this will NOT be available to homosexual couples?

    How absurd.

    “Cultivating” children in an unfit environment….ridiculous. I know personally plenty of youth that has grown up in a family of same-sex parents that contribute to society far more than some children raised in ‘traditional’ homes.

    The support I originally experienced when reading this article was quickly crushed when I got to that paragraph. However, I still think this is a great move, even if I have tons and tons of questions about it.

    Hilarious. (When you click on the commenter’s name it links to another satire site.)

  7. 37 degrees near the North Loop, and I have a 9 am PT session today so we have to get out in it. A 13-mph wind is too much wind when it’s this cold!

  8. I’m caring for Lovely Daughter’s and Aggie Beau’s dog for a few days. Barf Kitty ain’t none too happy about it. They had a brief run-in last night behind one of our couches. I swear, I only turned my attention away for a moment! One second, Barf Kitty was on the short couch and Ollie was sniffing the floor behind me. Literally, just two seconds later, I hear yowling and yipping, and it took me a moment to determine from whence the sounds came, and I called Ollie’s name (because obviously he would come when called, whereas the cat would just blow me off). Ollie came out, I fussed at him a bit after checking him over, and that was that. Kitty seemed to be okay, no damage done, but I locked her in a downstairs bedroom for the night. Ollie curled up next to me on the couch.

    About an hour later, there’s a loud rapping sound. It’s Barf Kitty, pawing at the door and making it bang slightly against the door jamb. She “ran” her paws against the door for about ten minutes, and Ollie started getting huffy. I calmed him down and later he followed me upstairs to bed. He found a spot next to my bed and slept by my side all night. He’s followed me all morning. I have a new shadow.

    I put him on his leash and let loose the cat this morning. Ollie and I sat on the stairs as the cat came by. I held him while the he sniffed her head. She hissed at him, and he took refuge behind me on the stairs. I guess Barf Kitty, declawed, got the best of the argument last night.

    Barf Kitty got a refreshed hot water bottle and her blankets on the couch. Ollie has been by my side all morning, and is curled up next to my desk. I’m guessing they’ve figured out how to get along – they’ll just leave each other alone.

    But I’m still watching them….

  9. Sarge and Texpat, my wife doesn’t do Malls either. We’re both buyers NOT shoppers, consider shopping a waste of time.

  10. #14: What a gleaming example of how the system is abused. A textbook case as to why welfare will never work and should be abolished forthwith.
    I made it through about half way then had to turn it off. The thing is, for one with no social conscience or basic self respect, living off welfare is a logical thing to do – in the short run. In the long run it destroys families, cultures and countries.

  11. When I am looking, I do it online, when I am ready to buy, I go and buy with as little fanfare as possible.

  12. MIT Ignores Naysayers, Goes All-In on MOOCs

    An education from MIT may soon involve a freshman year spent completing online courses, two years on campus and a fourth “year” of continuous education. While students pursue their careers, they could access a growing library of online courses to refresh their knowledge, Agarwal said.

  13. Now this is way too cool; Unusual ice circle discovered in Sheyenne River. I’ve not heard of this.

    “It’s not a continuous sheet of ice,” Schlag said. “If you were to throw a grapefruit-size rock on it, it would go through. It’s not a solid piece of ice — it’s a collection of ice cubes.”
    Loegering said the spinning disk had frozen up but was still visible in the river.
    “I’m not sure how long it was there (spinning),” he said. “It had to be quite a long time. If you look at the picture, you can see growth rings on the disk.”

  14. 8 Texpat

    Heh i posted that thing yesterday. My favorite comment:

    NOVEMBER 27, 2013
    LEE
    if you actually believe this is true, you must be a huge idiot.

    😉
    And considering i could not corroborate with other sources my “dubious alarm” went sky high.

  15. #25 Shannon: That is a real nice piece, of which I am now listening. How is this cold weather effecting your back?

  16. #18 Bones

    The O/C pic looks like a transmission; and a darned freaky one at that

    It’s Janeane Garofalo, isn’t it? Wearing duck lips, of course.

  17. It’s Janeane Garofalo, isn’t it?

    I did not realize that commie-beyotch had that heavy of a beard; yikes!

  18. #19 TT
    Hey, many of those Brits did better to identify the 50 states than product of American public school systems.

  19. 29 Bones
    The weather doesn’t really affect it.
    It’s bad all the time, regardless. 🙂
    Sciatic pain down the leg is pretty constant now and lose the feeling in my foot if I stand for more than ten minutes or so.

  20. It’s Janeane Garofalo, isn’t it? Wearing duck lips, of course.

    Actually, if you go to Barry’s article, he’s wearing them with the Santa beard.

  21. Well, Texas seems to be just about universally known as is California. On our travels out of country over the years just about everybody encountered in Europe/Russia/Tunisia who inquired where we were from knew where Texas was and most knew Houston was in it. Canadians know everything there is to know. Merely saying the US or America did not quite reach the approval/appreciation level that Texas does. And that, of course, would add cachet to a Second Republic. 🙂

  22. My daughter, HeartCrusher is home helping Mrs. Bonecrusher prepare the feast for tomorrow. Life is real good.

  23. We’re not going to have a big feast here. It’ll just be me, Handsome Son, and the Hubby. I did pick up a smoked turkey at the store last week, and it’s in the frig, thawing out. I’m planning on baking some sweet potatoes, oven cooking my green beans (dang, I can eat those things like french fries all. day. long.), and probably putting a green salad next to it. Don’t know if I’ll fix any dessert – if it’s in the kitchen, I’ll want to eat it. Maybe I’ll make up three mug cakes. Those’ll get eaten right away and no leftover sitting around calling my name.

  24. Speaking of groceries, I’m about to head out to run errands, one of them being fighting the crowds at the grocery store.

    I’m putting barf kitty in the locked bedroom. I swear, she was stalking Ollie at lunch time. Lovely and Aggie Beau would kill me if I allowed Lovely’s cat to take out their dog.

  25. We’re not going to have a big feast here. It’ll just be me, Handsome Son, and the Hubby. I did pick up a smoked turkey at the store last week, and it’s in the frig, thawing out.

    So you’re gonna cook the friggin turkey when it thaws out?

  26. I did my PT and came straight home this morning. We drove right past the big Kroger I shop at now, and I didn’t even look to see if the parking lot was fuller than usual. When I went to Randall’s on Tuesday for pecan pie and sandwich rolls from their bakery, I stumbled upon a refrigerated kiosk that had cornbread dressing, several types of mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes, rice/broccoli casserole, etc, all packaged up from the deli. In addition to ham and turkey from the deli, I got a package of all our favorite side dishes, in case we decide not to go to Luby’s at 11 am tomorrow.

    While I was out in the cold wet windy rain yesterday afternoon — trip to my dental office — I went to Target. Could not park very close, and found it extremely unpleasant to manage 100 feet of walking while juggling a cane, umbrella, and purse. Not eager to be back out on the cane in any too-cold weather.

    I was surprised to find that I could not have my periodontal cleaning done yesterday, after the dental office talked to my ortho surgeon to verify the information I had provided about my knee replacement. I had completely misunderstood how I was to get antibiotics. I thought the dentist would apply topical liquid antibiotic, as he always does — when in fact I will have to take pills 1 hour before the appointment. At any rate, it turned out I cannot have any dental work done until 3 months after the surgery. It may be tricky to schedule the dentist at 3 months after, but before I have the other knee done. I don’t know yet if there will be a waiting period after the dental work before I can schedule the knee.

    It was bizarre how this issue was summarized in my patient’s discharge guidelines as “For 2 years after your joint replacement surgery, tell dentists that you have had this procedure and use antibiotics to prevent infection.”

  27. #45 M42: Your implants represent a foreign body in your body. An infection may cause your body to over-excite the immune system and make your body attempt to reject the implants and that would be a nasty and painful thing indeed. Extreme caution is the wise course.

  28. Slow hiring is blurring the line between long-term unemployed and not working. “One key to understanding the apparent divergence in the fates of the long-term unemployed and the rest of the labor market is the fact that so many Americans have dropped out of the labor force altogether during the recession. These are people who are not even looking for work. That means they are not counted by the BLS’s researchers as unemployed in calculating the unemployment rate. Since the official beginning of the recession in December 2007, the labor force participation rate has fallen from 66 to 63 percent. Some of that decline is due to America’s population aging and other trends unrelated to the recession. But a large part of it is also workers losing hope of finding a job, or postponing the job search until conditions improve. The Federal Reserve Bank of Boston has estimated that workers who have given up on work account for roughly half of the total jobs shortfall. How big is that jobs shortfall? By estimates from the Congressional Budget Office, America is short about 8 million jobs of its potential. That means roughly 4 million Americans are on the sidelines waiting for the economy to pick up before resuming their job searches.”- Washington Examiner

  29. Bottom line. Once you’ve had a joint replaced, any infection is a potentially big problem.
    And more so if you have any of the auto-immune diseases.

  30. Spouse and I are dining at home tomorrow since the new location for Karl’s at the Riverbend is not ready yet. Sniff. They have the best holiday buffets at reasonable prices, and the new restaurant location is close to home as was the previous one.

    So it was off to the Randall’s near Pecan Grove about 2:30 this afternoon to bring home most of tomorrow’s dinner. Surprisingly the store was busy but not jammed, plenty of shopping carts available, nobody looking panic-stricken–perhaps that comes later this evening. The longest line was at the pharmacy pickup window.

    We shall have honey maple turkey breast, dressing, green beans with almonds, croissant rolls, pasta salad, pecan pie or Blue Bell spiced pumpkin pecan ice cream. What the heck, we’ll have one dessert with dinner and the other later in the day when the football games are on. Spouse will select the wine. Leftovers should be minimal and eaten up on Friday.

  31. #49 Shannon
    Yes, I know, but I wasn’t given detailed info on the time constraints or the procedures. Frankly, I’m surprised that taking an antibiotic 1 hr before dental work is sufficient time for it to be in effect. I do not have any autoimmune diseases.

  32. I had a really hard time today, not going ahead and cutting the pecan pie. Randall’s used to make 9″ pies including pecan, but of late they only seem to have 12″ pecan pies. So there would have been no danger that my transgression would leave us short tomorrow…

  33. #52 mharper42
    Regarding antibiotics prior to dental work, I was following that course when I was mistakenly diagnosed with a heart murmur, indicating a leaky valve. It was amoxicillin capsules one hour before the appointment, and the dentist said by the time the hour was up there would be a therapeutic dose in the bloodstream to combat any inadvertent introduction of bacteria via the dental process making the gums or mouth bleed. Since I don’t have a murmur but instead atrial fibrillation that was mistaken for it, no premedication is needed now.

    But I suppose the artificial knee might be a slightly different situation. Anyway, the antibiotic therapeutic dose might be rather strong, in which case the good bugs in the gut can be adversely affected to the point of messing up normal bowel function. In which case it is wise to eat yogurt containing live culture (Dannon for instance) the same day to put the good bugs back.

  34. In which case it is wise to eat yogurt containing live culture (Dannon for instance) the same day to put the good bugs back.

    It makes a little more sense to wait a day or two so that you don’t kill the good bacteria with the antibiotics still in the system. Like you said, the antibiotics kill the good as well as the bad, if you increase the good too soon you may not get the best prophylactic effect on the bad.

  35. Well, I took off early to get some of the stuff ready for Turkey day and the boy showed up since he had the day off, so we talked for a couple of hours and I really didn’t get started until about 4. Anywho, I made the egg bread, baked the sweet taters and made daughter some deviled eggs. Spent about 2 hours in the kitchen and that’ll save me some time in the morning. Yup, “life is good!” 😀

  36. I got back from the grocery store (grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving should be an Olympic sport) and Ollie was very, very excited to see me. He peed he floor, quivered unendingly, and I took him out on his leash to do his business. He was still so excited to see me that he took the toy I bought for him and was wildly enthusiastically shaking it and throwing from his mouth and chasing it down again…until the cat showed up. There was hissing and I yelled to separate them. Bless his heart, he though I was mad at him. He went all submissive, rolling on his back and looking generally pitiful. I tried to console him, but I couldn’t get him to perk up again. I made Barf Kitty a new hot water bottle with her blankets, and went to the kitchen to start dinner. A heat source will keep the cat nailed in one place for hours. Ollie followed me into the kitchen and found a space on the floor on which to curl up and I tried not to step on him as he just tried to be close to me.

    I was all busy cutting up salad stuff when it sounded like all hell broke loose behind me. The cat had sneaked into the kitchen and was picking a fight with the dog. He yelped and was trying to back up while the cat moved in on him, hissing and batting at him. I kicked the cat away, yelling, and we ended up locking the cat in her room. Ollie has spent the rest of the nigh being as close to me as possible, even falling asleep on my foot as I curled up on the couch.

    Bless his heart, a new place, strange people, and a bloodthirsty cat.

  37. It’s 31 and dropping on the weather station pole in the back yard, 36 on the sheltered front porch, 33 at St. Francis under the red oak that still has most of its leaves, and two of the monitors inside the house are blinking an ice alert along with the temps. It will be interesting to see what 6am brings.

    Stay warm y’all and g’night.

  38. Well I hope weather.com is accurate that Magnolia won’t see much less than 32 degrees tonight, we took possession of our new property with the trailer by gawd double wide today and I have no idea if all will handle freezing without special attention.

    Actually some snafu’s came up and we couldn’t officially close (minor i’s dotted and t’s crossed) so we are leasing it for a week, hence the reason a proper final walk thru inspection wasn’t done – yet.

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