Tuesday Turkeypocalypse Now Open Comments

Thanksgiving is almost here. How many of you people are gonna be doing the cooking/hosting family & friends and how many will be among the hosted? How many will be eating in a home and how many plan to dine out?

How many of you have had some sort of Thanksgiving dinner disaster happen at a dinner you hosted, were attending, or were otherwise involved in?

A couple of years ago, we were hosting dinner. Turkey was cooking just fine, sides were ready to go, and the alarm on the electronic thermometer goes of saying the turkey was done. We pull it out and set it on the counter to rest while the sides cook/reheat.

We started carving it. At first, nothing seemed awry, but about halfway into carving, the breast meat began to look a bit on the rare side. Seems the thermometer malfunctioned and the temperature reading was off by about 75 degrees. The thighs were practically raw.

We took the most done pieces and nuked them for a couple of minutes and wrapped the raw parts in foil & threw them back in the oven. It turned out ok.

I mean it’s not like anyone died or anything…

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88 thoughts on “Tuesday Turkeypocalypse Now Open Comments

  1. Sweetie’s family always tells the story of her and her uncle transferring the cooked bird to the serving platter when, whoop, it slides off into the dirty dishwater!

    Several years ago we had Thanksgiving at our house, after the meal Sweetie’s moody sister gets up from her nap particularly joyful, looks at her husband and says, Where’s my damned pie? Haven’t had pie or Thanksgiving since when someone didn’t mention it! :D

  2. Everything’s good to go to Mom’s for dinner. Mom is 90, deaf and virtually blind, so each of us prepares whatever and all show up for a couple of days. One brother from Colorado, one from west Texas, and me from down here. I normally trade a little fish for some elk steak, etc. You’d be surprised what you can get in trade for a few fresh shrimp out west of Austin. Happy Turkey to all.

  3. The Thanksgiving dust up is just practice for the Christmas brawl. The wife’s side had some really interesting characters. Things are actually calmer these days but I miss those geezers. The pa-in-law’s Cajun friends stopping by on their way to poach in south Texas were pretty interesting, too.

  4. In the 80′s I found a some cat prints on a lease near Victoria. A 30’06 cartridge fit inside the heel part and did not touch the sides of the print. The ranch manager said it was a bobcat track. That was one friggin big bobcat if he was right.

  5. A little Cajun spices anything up, food, family, relationships. Heck they can’t even have a normal hurricane like the rest of us.

  6. Y’all be sure to try a sweet potato salad it is really good.
    Recipe:
    Make your favorite tater salad but this time use sweet taters instead of Idaho or redskin. It is really pretty to look at and wissin good to eat!

  7. #9 – After reading the Comical article, there are a couple of assumptions that I can make. (1) the “gunman” was not a licensed concealed carry (or any other kind) individual or that information would have been prominently displayed and (2) the gunman was not a Caucasian or that would have been disclosed rather than the color of his shirt. (3) I further have to assume that the fact that he was well dressed was intended to point out that he must not be affiliated with the OWS group in any way. Isn’t QX a nappy dresser? Hasn’t QX been known to roam downtown streets with long guns on display? Maybe it was QX.

  8. 3 Texpat says:
    November 22, 2011 at 7:03 am
    Sarge’s cougar posts late last night are fascinating. Plenty of things I didn’t know.

    Until I picked up that handout, I was largely unaware that cougars were as prevalent in this region as they are.

  9. G’Morning all

    Tuesday Turkeypocalypse:
    How dysfunctional are the Hamsters?

    Who do you think…

    1. Drops the turkey:

    2. Burns the mashed potatoes:

    3. Starts doing the turkey dance during prayer:

    4. Eats all the pumpkin pie before anybody else gets any:

    5. Spills sweet tea all over the white tablecloth:

    6. Brings a “surprise guest” nobody likes:

    7. Gets mad and leaves in the middle of dinner:

    8. Starts crying over something silly:

    9. Forgets to show up at all:

    10. Throws up everywhere:

  10. Today, in 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated.

    Where were you? I was in the Marines and walking across the street from the main Avionics shop to the Power and accessories Shop I was in charge of. I didn’t hear the announcement and was in complete disbelief when I got back to my shop. We (the entire USMC) were immediately put on alert and restricted to base. We were allowed to call our wives or family to tell them we were on alert and would be home when we got there. (About 4 hours late)

  11. I believe Issa must have eaten razor blades for breakfast yesterday

    November 22, 2011
    Issa: If Eric Holder is not ‘doomed,’ the Obama administration is
    Published: 11:40 PM 11/20/2011 | Updated: 6:30 PM 11/21/2011

    Attorney General Eric Holder testifies on Capitol Hill in Washington, May 4, 2011, before the Senate Judiciary Committee. (AP)

    House oversight committee chairman Rep. Darrell Issa told The Daily Caller that if Attorney General Eric Holder isn’t “doomed” because of his handling of Operation Fast and Furious, the entire Obama administration is.

    “If the [Obama] administration continues to have full confidence in a failed administration by Eric Holder and Lanny Breuer, then ultimately the administration is going to be doomed,” Issa told TheDC during an interview in San Diego on Saturday. “Eric Holder seems to have the full confidence of the president, and I can’t understand why.”

    http://dailycaller.com/2011/11/20/issa-if-eric-holder-is-not-doomed-the-obama-administration-is/

  12. One of my pet peeves.

    Virginia Woman Faces 50 Years Behind Bars For Decapitating Piglet
    November 21, 2011 3:00 PM

    Ashley Fowler plead guilty to killing her ex-boyfriend’s piglets. (credit: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)

    CHESAPEAKE, Va. (CBS Washington) – A Portsmouth woman faces up to 50 years in prison after pleading guilty to beheading her boyfriend’s piglet.

    According to court documents, Ashley Fowler, 22, was breaking up with the piglet’s owner Zach Sawyer and wanted to play a prank first.

    Sawyer’s mother told the Virginian-Pilot last year that the piglet’s head freaked her out when she let her puppy outside early one morning last February and saw it staring back at her.

    “For somebody to come and do something like this was unbelievably sick,” Janie Sawyer told the paper.

    The Sawyers had to euthanize another pig who Fowler admitted to stabbing in the same incident. She said her son started raising them on the family farm as therapy after he suffered a head injury.

    Fowler also plead guilty to charges of possessing Adderall and breaking and entering.

    shoat also shote (sht)
    n.
    A young pig just after weaning.
    [Middle English shote, perhaps of Middle Low German origin.]

    The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

    The correct name for a small pig is a shoat. It is not a “piglet” any more than a “horselet’, “cowlet”, “doglet”, “catlet”, “fishlet”, “manlet”, “womanlet”..ad infinitum…………

  13. OBH imposed a six-month delay on oil shale drilling Friday just days after postponing the Keystone oil pipeline from Canada to Texas. Some things are more important than any jobs that might be created.

    He read a report showing that oil field workers are as Republican as oil executives.

  14. 18 OT
    Third grade classroom at Rummel Creek Elementary (Brittmoore @ Memorial Dr.).
    We were dismissed and I walked to the house, two blocks away.

  15. I found this joke in the comments from my Peloopsi link above:
    There were three country churches in a small Texas town: Presbyterian, Methodist and Catholic.

    Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.

    After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

    The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creations.

    So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

    It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution:

    They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.

  16. #18 OTL: I had just turned 4 a couple of weeks earlier. I was prolly hanging out with my friend Paul F. McBonecrusher’s Friend III, throwing rocks at cars or something.

  17. #18 – A momentous Day for the world (and of course many of us on personal levels)

    In my 3rd grade class I watched in abject horror as our Kolter Elementary School (Meyerland) Principal cried his eyes out while advising us of JFK’s assassination. I then rode my bicycle 7 or 8 blocks home – where I was “jumped” (so to speak) by our next door neighbor as I rode up our driveway – this ‘blankety blank’ asked me (an 8.5 year old 3rd grade boy) if I “had heard the GOOD NEWS?” (the guy hated JFK apparently)……………..I responded involuntarily with my very FIRST curse word ever aimed at an adult in my young life……………….no sooner had that F word left my lips when I immediately realized what I had done and was certain I’d be dying a very slow and painful death that afternoon when Pop got home from work………………….amazingly enough Pop did chide me sternly for cursing at ANY adult – but he added that he understood I had reacted without thinking and while being VERY upset……………………..’Twas the wissorifice neighbor who incurred the FULL BRUNT of my Pop’s wrath…………………I thought for a second that Pop was gonna punch his lights out – he DID so verbally but not physically……………..and left the neighbor VERY CLEAR not to ever speak to me again under ANY circumstances unless he wanted a quick trip to the hospital.

  18. 4. Eats all the pumpkin pie before anybody else gets any:

    Reminds me of my father in law. If a pecan pie was in sight, he’d “graze” on it until all the pecans were gone. There’s no sadder dessert in the world than a nekkid pecanless pie.

  19. I was a senior in high school. Our little football team had reached the playoffs for the first time in many years. Eventually the decision was made to go ahead with the game at some neutral site somewhere. We won and moved on to the next level. Some of the locals had contact with LBJ and were glad to see him ascend to the next level – a feeling that changed shortly thereafter as LBJ’s liberal bona fides started being exposed. The next election, my Dad told me that he voted Republican for the first time in his life.

  20. I was a three-year old living in France. According to my dad, the French radio announcer was crying when he read the announcement.

    I’ll have to ask him if the NATO base we were on went on alert.

  21. 18: I was in grade 2 when the principle, a woman, made the announcement, the principle was crying, the teacher was crying, class was dismissed and I wondered wtf? I got home and my mother was crying. A strange experience for a seven year old Canadian.

  22. #38 Pyro (heh): WARNING: DEEP FAT FRYING ANYTHING IS NOT SAFE FOR D!PST!CKS!
    I say sell a whole bunch of DFFs and let Darwin do his job.

  23. When I was working down Sugar Land way in the early 2000′s, I heard of bobcat families (moms with several kits) sighted in some small pockets of woods off 90-A, west of Dairy-Ashford.

  24. I was in Mrs. Abbott’s first grade class at Mary Bryan Elementary. School was dismissed and an aunt picked my cousins and me up. We went over to their house (right next door to my house) because they had the only color TV in the neighborhood. I don’t really remember tears being shed, just everyone in a state of disbelief. I also remember my father saying that out of respect he couldn’t play his Vaughn Meader album any more. The next year my parents caused a minor family crisis by joining the Young Republicans and campaigning for Barry Goldwater. That was something you just didn’t do in the Deep South back then.

  25. I finally got around to watching the HELI-HOG video. Man o man I could spend a bundle doing that. That looks like so much fun and good for the environment; I guess that whole thing is a net green activity, right?

  26. November 22, 1963

    I was 11 years old, in the 6th grade, at the brand spanking new Memorial Jr. High School just west of Memorial City. It was the first school in Harris County to be built with central heating and air conditioning.

    The principal came over the PA system first announcing the President had been shot in Dallas. I believe it was about 20 minutes later that he announced the President was dead. They let school out early and it was the quietest that school has ever been. The only sound one heard was hundreds of footsteps. The ride home on the school bus was also ominously silent.

  27. Question for all you computer jocks out there:
    I have an optical mouse connected by wire to the computer. The wissin cursor jumps all over the place at random and to phrase it delicately, it is quite annoying. What is going on and how to fix it?

  28. Thanksgiving is almost here. How many of you people are gonna be doing the cooking/hosting family & friends and how many will be among the hosted?

    We were going to buy a meal from Kroger this year until a family we invited over said she’d rather we come to her house for a (big) home-prepared meal. So that’s what we’re doing this year. We’ll have turkey and ham and lots of pies. Mrs. Darren and I will prepare a desert and a side I guess and we’ll help cook at the lady’s home. It shuld be fun.

  29. I have an optical mouse connected by wire to the computer. The wissin cursor jumps all over the place at random and to phrase it delicately, it is quite annoying. What is going on and how to fix it?

    In this order (stop when problem goes away):

    Check the surface the mouse is sitting on. It needs a little texture (color-wise) to see. Glass tops freak them out.

    Clean the laser and receiver lenses. Damp soft cloth or Q-tip should work fine.

    Clean electrical contacts. Damp soft cloth or Q-tip should work fine.

    Go to the control panel and look at your mouse settings. Check the acceleration and sensitivity settings and lower them (this should not be the problem unless someone messed with them).

    Get a new mouse. They’re really cheap at WalMart.

  30. Today, in 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated.

    Where were you?

    LDS response: I was in heaven waiting to be born. I figure I might have met Kennedy before going down to mortality myself. But who knows?

  31. Never, never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
    on the same night.

    LOL, excellent advise, OLT.

  32. $54 Pyro:

    Check the surface the mouse is sitting on. It needs a little texture (color-wise) to see. Glass tops freak them out. SITTING ONA MOUSE PAD

    Clean the laser and receiver lenses. Damp soft cloth or Q-tip should work fine. CLEAN AND SHINY

    Clean electrical contacts. Damp soft cloth or Q-tip should work fine. CLEAN I THINK

    Go to the control panel and look at your mouse settings. Check the acceleration and sensitivity settings and lower them (this should not be the problem unless someone messed with them). I JUST SLOWED IT DOWN A BIT AND ADDED SHORT TRACERS, WILL ADVISE HOW IT WORKS.

    Get a new mouse. They’re really cheap at WalMart.

    Thanks for the advise.

  33. 50
    After a semester or two, he transferred to Spring Branch so he could take Ag.
    Decades later he was the first inductee into the Redneck Metrosexual Hall Of Fame.

  34. #58 –

    Decades later he was the first inductee into the Redneck Metrosexual Hall Of Fame.

    ROFL……………..yanno Little Brother you’re pretty BALLSY when BigBro is 2000 miles away……………… :)

  35. When’s the last time you turned the computer off?

    Do you remember doing anything right before it started spazzing out?

    Is there any coffee or beer dripping out of it?

  36. Nanzi Pelousi is bummed out because some Catholics “have this conscience thing”.
    And to quote from her highness:

    Similarly, she was skeptical earlier this year that Republicans would fight for conscience protections for health care providers out of any noble motive. Republicans must want women to “die on the floor,” she said, just because they don’t want to compel health care providers to assist with abortions.
    snip/
    “[Those who disagree] may not like the language,’’ she told The Washington Post, “but the truth is what I said. I’m a devout Catholic and I honor my faith and love it . . . but they have this conscience thing [that puts women at risk.]”

    The woman is a disgrace and dishonors all who claim Christ as Redeemer.

    from the comments section:

    Our American way of life, as we know it, is being destroyed by a progressive mental disorder known as liberalism. When you have political leaders dumber than a box of rocks, as Pelosi obviously is, how can anything else occur?

    volsense on November 22, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    I think rocks everywhere are outraged by the comparison.

  37. #61 Pyro:
    When’s the last time you turned the computer off? about once a week whether it needs it or not

    Do you remember doing anything right before it started spazzing out? An intermittent problem happening for a long time

    Is there any coffee or beer dripping out of it? negative

  38. A few years later, Spring Branch HS was closed. I’ve always suspected a connection between the two events.

    I remember the new Memorial HS well. At the time it was huge. Magnificent.

    Not so much, now. :)

  39. 73
    Unlike some around here, I have taken the high road (so typical of UT fans).

    But after that remark, tell me, howzat Baylor Bear scat taste? :)

  40. #66 – sometimes nudging the receiver unit even a half inch will help – oh WAIT is yours wireless ?(throwable) or wired? (wish you could throw it)

  41. #47 Hammy
    I’d say Mr Bigglescoon is a raccoon with the chupacabra rash. This same complete loss of hair happened to my semi-tame raccoon friend Toebiter. We didn’t see him at all for maybe 6 months and assumed he had died, but then he turned up again one night, looking in the back window, and he had regrown his fur and looked wonderful. In case you think I’m nuts, he had suffered a broken ankle when he was about 2 yrs old, and was very distinct and recognizable for his limp and demeanor.

  42. OK scrolling through for a change,
    #2 El Gordo, That is great, you’re blessed to still have your Mom around and I’m glad you’ll be getting together with family that you don’t often see.
    #18 OletimerLin, I was in Miss Stowers’ 4 th grade class and she was called into the office over the intercom and when she got back she told us that the President had been shot. Watching the funeral on TV and didn’t understand why the president was being pulled in a little wagon by horses. My first thought was that he could/should afford better, my had to Dad explain the significance of the Caisson to me.
    #46 Bonecrusher, is that awesome or what?

  43. #51 Bones
    Jumpy mouse – on the bottom of my mouse, there is an opening that collects stray fibrous debris (aka cat hair, for the most part) and that makes it operate poorly. I use a tiny brush to whisk out any junk.

  44. Reply to No. 42: Well, let me take a stab at this:

    Tuesday Turkeypocalypse:
    How dysfunctional are the Hamsters?

    1) Was too busy on the computer and forgot about Thanksgiving.

    2) Tries his best to put together a Thanksgiving dinner party on short notice.

    3) Decides who could bring the best fixings and trimmings and omits everyone else.

    4) Decides if alcohol would solve his problems or create more.

    5) Screws up the guest list and ends up with people he hates.

    6) Realizes the dinner schedule conflicts with the football schedule.

    7) Everybody ends up bring “mash potatoes”.

    8) Tries to “deep fry” a turkey for the first time ever.

    9) Ends up burning down the kitchen.

    10) Ends up looking for a Turkey dinner buffet.

    How that?

  45. I have an optical mouse connected by wire to the computer. The wissin cursor jumps all over the place at random and to phrase it delicately, it is quite annoying. What is going on and how to fix it?

    PC Matic (wink).com

  46. JFK

    I was 5 yrs old, I remember my mom ironing in the living room watching it on TV. Black & White, we didn’t have no 1% neighbors.

    For the life of me I can’t remember the moon landing, but I confess I know where I was standing when I heard the news Elvis died. Is that wrong?

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