The Meaning Of Pi(e)

Now that you have all sampled some pie, what is the first one you reached for? Which did you specifically make or as to be made? Be careful. It is a window into your soul.

I’m a pecan pie kinda guy.

If pecan pie is your favorite pie, it means you radiate an aura of joy to those around you. If you’re in the room, eating pecan pie, other people will be like, “What is this feeling? Is it gas? No… It’s joy!” And it’s all because of you.

2nd place? Chocolate.

If chocolate cream pie, or any chocolate pie, is your favorite, that means you possess a keen wisdom beyond your years. When fools step to you, you immediately school them with your street smarts. The knowledge that no dessert flavor can compete with chocolate is very powerful. Be careful not to use it for evil.

Let this show you people how fortunate you are to have crossed paths with me.

Happy Thanksgivukkah

I know we’re supposed to be thankful for all of our blessings and so on, so forth, and what have you.

And I, for one, am. But can we please have some fun, too?

Our friends at Buzzfeed have given us a Thanksgivukkah game that we can all be thankful for. It will enhance your day and/or help you tolerate those pesky in-laws.

I speak, of course, about yet another drinking game.

Some highlights:
7. Someone brings a “raw” or “clean eating” or “paleo” side dish. – chug drink
12. Someone actually says “Gobble gobble.” – chug two drinks
16. After five minutes of trying to explain what your job is, no one understands. – take a drink
24. Someone brings up Obamacare and things get weird. – chug drink

Black Friday Prep

You people need to start planning right now.

Black Friday is only a couple days away. You need to get your collective feces together so you can overcome the Bronconomy. In this effort, we align our energies with the formidable Dave Barry.

Apparently, you CCL’s now have a doll an “action figure”.

We all know that the one thing CCL’s and normal people can agree on is that bird people are weird.

Face. Slimmer. Mouthpiece.

There are more. Better plan ahead so you won’t miss out.

Thanksgivukkah Is Coming

The combination of Thanksgiving and the first day of Hanukkah will not happen again for 70,000 years.

The fine people at Buzzfeed have come up with a menu that combines the best of Thanksgiving fare with some of the traditional fare of the Juice. The main course being turkey, of course, given that it’s tradition for us AND our friends in Israel consume almost 50% more turkey per capita than we do. The twist?

Brine it with Manischevitz, natch.

Weird at first, but apparently quite tasty and traditional-looking once cooked.

The full menu:

TO START
Potato Latkes with Cranberry Applesauce

THE MEAL
Manischewitz-Brined Roast Turkey with Gravy
Sweet Potato Bourbon Noodle Kugel
Challah Apple Stuffing
Horseradish Chive Mashed Potatoes
Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Pastrami and Pickled Red Onion

FOR DESSERT
Pecan Pie Rugelach
Rye Pumpkin Pye